Develop Mental Toughness: 9 Quick Ways You Can Overcome Failure
Choosing to develop mental toughness is the first step to changing your life. While we don’t know for sure who first said the following, as a general observation, it remains true: it takes ten years to become an overnight success.
Ten years is a definite commitment to a particular goal. This type of commitment demands not just developing mental toughness, but understanding the different characteristics of mental toughness.
These two facets are key to both personal and career success.
But have you ever wondered, can mental toughness be developed? Thankfully, the answer is a resounding yes. In this article, I share the tools to develop mental toughness.
Whether you need the stamina to see a particular dream to completion or simply want to work on strengthening your character, here’s what you need to know.
Develop mental toughness: what’s covered
What is mental toughness?
Mental toughness is a personality trait individuals can develop to enhance their innate ability to execute tasks, regardless of outside forces.
Writing 1,000 words may feel simple on a day you are well-rested and basking in vacation sun. But what about when you’re two weeks behind your writing deadline, stressed with personal issues, and exhausted? This is where learning to develop mental toughness becomes imperative.
9 Ways to develop mental toughness
Is mental toughness a skill? Most definitely. In fact, if you are new to this topic, you may have heard of the four C’s of mental toughness: confidence, control, commitment, and challenge. These characteristics are a great start, but there are nine additional ways to develop mental toughness.
Consider this: when you develop more mental toughness, you heighten your chances of success. This means mental toughness is one of the best ways to help you overcome failure.
1. Articulate the why behind your goal
Learning how to develop mental toughness in life starts with identifying what Simon Sinek terms the why behind what you pursue.
For instance, if I decide I want to traditionally publish a book, I have a goal. However, when the going gets tough, when the rejections roll in, I may lose heart.
But what if I decide I want to traditionally publish a book because I want to share a particular story with the world? Knowing my why helps me stay determined to succeed, even when success looks nearly impossible.
2. Create a step-by-step plan
A goal as ambiguous as determining how to not fail starts with small, concrete steps. The road to develop mental toughness is slow. You can liken trying to learn mental toughness quickly with saying you’re impatient to learn patience. The two simply do not go together.
While learning mental toughness can be slow, it’s one of the fastest ways to overcome failure.
To achieve your goal, create a step-by-step plan. When you feel stuck, focus on taking that next step. Just one step more is all you need to focus on. Individuals develop mental toughness one step at a time.
3. Embrace a growth mindset
American Psychologist, Carol Dweck, played a large part in bringing the grit and growth mindset to our attention. How do you develop mental toughness without grit, after all?
A key component of grit is the growth mindset. Dweck states that, “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point.”
Dedication and hard work are key to mental toughness.
4. Commit to a mentorship
There is no question that I would not be where I am today if not for my writing mentors.
The mentorships I engaged in allowed me to develop mental toughness in an environment that both encouraged me in my strengths and empowered me to grow in my weaknesses.
Part of the job of mentors and coaches is to push you to continue when you want to give up.
If you’re curious about entering into a mentorship with a writer, find out more by reading what does a writing coach do.
5. Study emotional intelligence
The better an individual learns to both identify and manage their emotions, the higher their capacity to succeed.
Choosing to study emotional intelligence will help you articulate what you are feeling, why, and what to do about it. Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence, is a great starting point.
6. Read stories of those who went before
Ironically, hearing the stories of writers who believed they had failed make standout examples of mental toughness. Understanding that success takes time helps normalize mental toughness, and therefore, makes it feel more achievable.
To help you get started, search Stephen King’s story about throwing the draft of Carrie in the garbage.
7. Stay grounded in who you are
When people equate mental toughness and success with their identity, at best, it becomes a recipe for burnout.
Knowing that your worth is innate, rather than dependent on your successes, will help you separate your identity from your achievements.
This separation sets you up to pursue your dreams long-term, which is foundational to executing mental toughness.
8. Remember even the strongest need rest
I write this as much for myself as for you. It’s easy to view the desire to develop mental toughness as a pursuit without breaks. After all, mental toughness means pressing through the hard times, right?
Yes, but mentally tough people maintain their mindsets by allowing their minds to relax. Roller coasters have highs and lows. Plots have rising and falling action. Weeks have work days and weekends.
The mentally tough work hard and learn to rest well.
9. Eliminate failure as an option
One of the most crucial aspects of learning how to build mental toughness comes down to a simple choice: refuse to give up. I often say the last one to give up, wins. So dare to stay in the game.
When failure ceases to become a possibility, the only way forward is to keep trying.
Of course, there are instances where choosing to pursue a different goal is wise. That said, it’s easy to underestimate just how long it takes to succeed. Don’t give up early.
Is mental toughness caught or taught?
Research alludes to the idea that mental toughness is both “caught” via environmental influences and “taught” through training.
Because of this, it’s crucial to surround yourself with a quality community of like-minded individuals. In addition, if you have access to personalized coaching, you will likely find you can pursue your goals with much more efficiency.
Can you train for mental toughness?
Every time you pursue your goal, despite setbacks, you train yourself in mental toughness.
Let’s say you struggle to find how to get into a creative mindset when it’s time to write. When you choose to write regardless of whether or not you feel inspired, you train yourself to become mentally tough.
This brings up a question: What is the tool for mental toughness? I would argue that the key to developing mental toughness is twofold—remaining flexible and staying resilient.
Flexibility implies the capacity to pivot when needed. Resilience is the ability to stick to what works, regardless of outside pressure.
Now that you understand how to develop mental toughness, how do you know if you are effectively doing so? What are the markers of mental toughness?
Track your progress by considering the following questions every two to three months:
Does understanding the why behind your goal help keep you going?
Are you further along in your step-by-step plan than previously?
Are you learning to embrace a growth mindset?
What mentors or coaches are you learning from?
Do you handle your emotions better than two months ago?
Do rejections remind you that you’re in the company of the greats who went before you?
Have you separated your innate worth from your external success?
Additionally, if discomfort feels a bit more acceptable than before, you’re likely further along than you realize.
Here is a short list of books to develop mental toughness:
Mindset, Carol Dweck
Atomic Habits, James Clear
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey
This starter list can help inspire you as you begin your journey to mental toughness.
Begin to develop mental toughness today
Learning what mental toughness is and how to develop it is the first step. Now that you have the resources, you can put them into practice and earn the possibility of changing your life.
Rejections, criticism, and unhelpful feedback no longer need to dominate your progress. Instead, use difficult experiences as a tool to further develop mental toughness.
To start your writing journey today, access your free guide below!
